


Something I didn't Even Know I Had

by littlegrayraincloud



Series: Writing Challenges [2]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s01e04 Let's Get to Scooping, M/M, POV Connor Walsh, POV First Person, Post-Break Up, pre-make up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:16:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5897875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlegrayraincloud/pseuds/littlegrayraincloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Oliver kicked him out, Connor reflects on why he feels so.....something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something I didn't Even Know I Had

**Author's Note:**

> Part of my 30 Day Writing Challenge. Day Two-Tell about a character who lost something important to him/her.
> 
> Once again, written too quickly for my liking, but that's what I get for procrastinating, right?
> 
> This is my first time writing for this fandom, so I hope you all enjoy!

"Get out!"

"Oliver."

"I said leave!"

I stood in the hallway outside his door for a good twenty minutes, waiting to see if he would change his mind. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I knew he wouldn't change his mind after I had waited two minutes. It took me the other 18 to convince myself to go home. Home alone.

I don't know what to do. Normally, something like this wouldn't bother me. How many times have I moved on from being dumped to hooking up with another guy? I can't count. But this time....this time was different.

There was something different about Ollie---Oliver. Why am I giving him a nickname? I never give anyone I was sleeping with a nickname before. Well, at least not one that didn't have some part of their anatomy in the name.

Because that's all it usually is. It's about having sex, having fun, and appreciating what the other person brings to the table. Couch. Bed. Floor. That one time with the exercise bike...

But Ollie is different.

Ollie likes me, and not just for my body and for what I can do to his body. He likes getting to know me. And I like letting him get to know me.

Ollie cares that I work too long of hours for a first-year law student. He cares that I don't eat right all of the time. He cares that I ignored that call from my mom last Saturday.

If I'm being honest with myself, I like that he cares. I like letting him into my world, where I have been alone for so long. I like that I feel comfortable enough to start letting him in. A sense of comfort I don't even feel around my own family. 

And now, because of one stupid mistake, it's gone. The caring smile, the goofy grin, the loving laugh. 

Love. 

That's what it is.

The word for how I feel. It is love. Rather, it is the feeling of losing that love. Losing that sense of love I didn't even know I had.

And I worry that there is no way I can even try to get it back.

**Author's Note:**

> The challenge is from this tumblr post: http://30daychallengearchive.tumblr.com/post/832610035/writing-prompt-30-day-challenge.
> 
> I'll be posting all of my non-fandom related works on my tumblr, also. If you want to check them out, come find me! I lurk under the same name as I do here :)


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